It took many years for me to get to this point. The reason I ignored the circumstances for so long was simply because blood is thicker than water. I knew that my retaliation would impair them - so I let it be - to allow them to save face. But I realize now that enduring these people who are so desperate that they would hurt me to further their own cause - makes me the biggest fool.
But on this hot day, with such heavy thoughts on my mind, I suddenly remembered that every life has problems. Some people are handicapped, some lose their mind, some lose the loves of their lives, some die never having lived - so if my greatest problem is a few people who are desperate enough to try to hurt me, then I am well off. And will you believe it, as I came to this realization, the rain fell - so hard. The air became fresh and cool and I caught my own smile on the rear-view mirror. Queen played on the radio, "into every life a little rain must fall." Do you know, I love the rain?
There are hundreds of civilians who have died needlessly in Lebanon and Israel in the last week. The "official" number of Iraqis killed this year is 14,000. Children in Africa die of Aids by the minute, people in Asia die of floods every month, people are killed in the line of fire everywhere. Yet I have everything - my life, my health, my intelligence, the ability to defend myself and to fight back fearlessly, the options in living. I am lucky that I am not the desperate one - because surely it is absolute desperation that made their blood thinner than water. My problems are nothing compared to the world - and I know this heartache that I feel today will only make me even more fearless, more ambitious, more bold!
8 comments:
Reading the first paragraph I felt as if it was me that had written it about myself. Dr. Nazli it is normal for any person to get angry, happy, depressed and all the other emotions we all have.
Sometimes we always try to keep quiet because we know that those who try to start a fire always need a spark, but we'll never give in. I admire you and your thought process not only because it goes to show that there is HOPE, but because you ARE an exceptional human being.
Now...if you need any help..Let me know.. I got a few buddies who like to beat people up. LOL ;-) (i'm usually the brains behind the muscle)
Glad to see you back Dr. Nazli. Hugs from New York, and great to hear your mind once again.
I've been at odds with the entire Lebanon/Israel situation. While I don't think that any kind of agression is good, it troubles me that I can understand the Israeli side without much thought. Perhaps it's the thought of what if it was happening here, and how would I handle it. It's soooo tough.
...time ago, I went to a Psychologist with the same concern. I mean, my "little and stupid" problems when the world is falling down... But the guy said me that this is a normal thing and you dont have to feel bad to try to solve these problems...
(((I wish to put more, but I connected with a modem, and my English skills aren t good for a speedy version..)
-oh, may be your a lucky woman...
Nazlıcımmm
merhaba,
believe it or not ı would have written and feeling as the same about this lebanon israeli situation and the rest of disasters all over the world.Being someone living very close to the region, concerns too much:(
like jeff when I read the top paragraphs I felt ı had written them myself ı am a happy one rarely get angry or depressed but sometimes the burdens of life comes along and have to cope with them no matter what and remimnds us there are some things we have to worry or be depressed about .....
well ı think ı get the point as have just get up :)
kucak kucak kucak from a forever friend living very close to that boiling point:(
yes ı have triple ignored:)))how can ı be the oppposite to my lovely friend
Nazli, I believe you have the right to feel sad, angry, depressed, happy, excited, etc. regardless of how big or small or problems seem compared to others... However, the bigger problems going on around us do serve to put everything into perspective :-). Don't minimize or invalidate your feelings because of them though....
Cris - thank you - that was very perceptive and thoughtful and helpful advice. And perhaps it is because I focused on only being happy and ignored what irritated me, that it seems harder now. But it has been such a good lesson for me and actually I do feel better - especially these thoughtful warm words mean so much. Thank you and thank you Cris!
Candancimmm, my sweet beautiful friend, you are a reminder enough of what the world beautiful.
I just needed some perspective and writing it out cleared my head and actually made me realize that as hard as it seemed at that moment, it was the not the end of the world - and again writing it out gave me the proper perspective I needed.
But what made it even sweeter for me are your words and those of Cris, Jeff and Fernando - because in a way I felt you understood even though we are worlds apart and you shared your warmth (or coolness ;-)) with me - that truly put a smile in my heart.
The situation is Lebanon/Israel is very close to you - I do share your concern regarding this. If I try to imagine what those families are going through, it brings me to tears.
But there is more than this life - that I know.
Thank you and thank you Candancimmmm - so many kucaks and hugs.
Nazlicinnnnnnn
Fernando - I do know what you are trying to say. We are human, this is life - and in every life some rain falls, some sun shines - it's life.
I am lucky - and when I remind myself of all my good fortune, somehow even the circumstances that make my heart ache do not seem to bad - in fact, I remember they are temporary. Besides, some rain and some sun - beautiful rainbows - right.
Thank you very much for your words Fernando
Jeff - your words have touched me - you seem to understand exactly what I was feeling - and your kind kind words reached me.
I am so glad you can relate to my thought process. Normally it keeps me very happy and successful - but there are times to fight back - with winning ferocity - such is life. And actually it feels good - because it makes me feel even more fearless. But this time I acknowledge the hurt my heart feels and I can allow it to guide me in life.
As for being exceptional - I feel too emotional to respond to that right now - but as you can imagine, I thank you for your words.
As for your offer - I am laughing so hard now! See!
Jeff - thank you and thank you. Hugs to you. BTW, have you watched Pirates II - your look a like has nothing on you. Superman Returns was enjoyable.
Muchas gracias mi amigo!
Nazli
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