Years ago, I read the story about a butterfly. Butterflies are not born winged, beautiful, and colorful, you know. They start their lives as caterpillars that people may step on because they look so insignificant. This caterpillar spins a cocoon around itself and over the following weeks, as it starts to transform, it pushes against this cocoon. Eventually after many weeks of struggling against the cocoon, the tip of its wing punches through. Then after some time, the rest of the body bursts through the cocoon – and a beautiful butterfly emerges. BUT, if the butterfly breaks free too early through its cocoon, it is bound to a life without flight. Why? Because it is the delay and struggle against the cocoon that makes the butterfly’s wings strong enough to break through the cocoon. When I was growing up, my father made me debate world affairs at the dinner table – from both sides. Por ejemplo, I had to debate for
I started blogging at a time when I broke free of the cocoon and began my own “relentless pursuit of being alive”. For me it means being fearless, because that is true freedom. And ambitious, because I feel it burning within me and it fuels me. And bold, because courage is prerequisite to being free.
Here are my honest thoughts in the last hour ... ;-)
- Saddam was caught, Zarqawi was killed – and the civilian killings have increased to date
- In this world, people of some nations are branded terrorists, while similar people of other nations are branded heroes
- Children who are adopted are called “adopted children” – I wish they would be termed only as “children”
- The Geneva Convention is enforced for some nations with military battles, while ignored for certain nations
- The Nuclear Non-Proliferation Treaty is enforced for some nations with military battles, while ignored for certain nations
- There are cases of people from
- Why should gay people not be allowed to marry? They are living together, they are happy together, they are married by human standards. The society is already changed – the landscape of gayness is drawn. How does denying them a certificate change any moral value?
- Gay people should be more respectful about showing their "gayness" - good for you that you are gay, but no need to advertise it - because personally I don't care. I don't actively advertise my straightness.
- Senator Chuck Schumer and his fellow Senators claimed that one of the reason the USA cannot do business Dubai World Ports because the UAE does not do business with Israel – what does Israel have to do with all this? Why does the same odd standard not apply to the
- I want to know why God, the Magnificent Creator of the Universe, values a strip of desert land over the innocent people whose lives have been robbed? I want to know why we all buy this story without question?
- I want to know what makes the lives of some more valuable than the lives of others?
People may disagree with me – and I seize the opportunity to learn from them. I am opinionated, but thanks to my father, I am open to seeing your side. What frightens me most are fearful people who will blindly believe their governments, this ministers, their elders – just to feel safe. They are not free – they are dangerous!
Wishing you a fearless week! Be Bold, would you! Be Alive! :-)
30 comments:
First of all - WOW!! I am not sure if I would of survived at your dinner table lol... I am in awe because I used to run from any form of "exercises" my parents tried to impose on me.
Second - what a coincidence, I posted a photo of butterflies today, but the topic is completely different. Oh, and you can also relate the butterfly getting out of the cocoon to childbirth... the baby needs the struggle and labour to be born ready for the world :-)
I am not going to comment on each of your bullet points, it is suffice to say that I agree with you, especially when you say that people who fear are dangerous.
...fisrt I ve got too many things to say about that...but I dont have the English language skills to translate it...so may be in other time..
...Im not an ego type guy that think that the world is only surfing , music, and ride his motorcycle..Im very concerned for many situations (some more criticals -understand that I live in a third world country-its very different that have the view from USA for ex.)
--your father. Dr Nazli your father gave to you a foundation. and this is one of the most important things (one that I dont see in my country or in most countries..)and for what..well, if a person transit the wrong way, just one day when decided to turn to, may be the "good" path, that person can see back and find one or more pillars that will be used for, you know, -grow up-
...but the caterpillars-where they start to grow? the answer: in a plant, a nice one...think about that...
-your blog have a difficult loading
Fer, I liked what you said about the catepillar starting to grow on a nice plant... made me sad though because I didn't really grow in a nice plant...
and yes... Nazli, your blog takes so long to load, maybe its the photos?
i agree with almost all of your bullet points. but a couple, i don't:
"gay people should ..." - let everyone be who they are. some people flaunt their sexuality (gay and straight). most people don't (gay and straight). the world of people is a vast tapestry with plenty of room.
"i want to know why God ..." but then i was born and raised atheist. to me there is practically no difference between the stories of God and the story of Santa Claus.
your blog is a model of the kind of blog i value, and you are inspiring and helping me to shape mine. thank you.
You wanted to know why some lives are worth more than others? That's easy.
I just read about photo albums that Israeli forces found after the Jenin "massacre"? Filled with pictures of Palestinian children aged 6 and up with notations written in pen indicating when they might be ripe enough to be used as a human bomb.
The Arabs are not shy about using
Arab lives to further their goal: the destruction of the Jewish state. Jews believe that all lives are equal, which is why the IDF tries to limit human casualties. When the Palestinians begin showing respect for their own lives I say we welcome them with open arms to human society.
I hope that answers your question for you.
Yikes! What a lot of deep questions in one post. I'm with you on most of it - we need some sort of a 'rational revolution' with extremists who believe that all human beings are one family and that we can trust our brains and leave our supersitions and hatreds aside.
Nice blog...
...but I do not know, why the jewish are massacred from centuries...all talked about WWII, but in "las Cruzadas" with the chatholics 600 years ago, they killed more millions.
...and in my country almost all (but not told)distrust jewish people...may be because here and in Argentina (may be with USA, the bigger colony)are and were like a closed cell...and the rich jewish do not open the doors for the poor ones...
Nazli, just another thought here about the fearful... I was talking to a friend on IM just now and we were talking about relationships and "rules" (yes I am obsessed because I can't conform to the fact that people actually follow "rules" where relationships are concerned!!). She told me that she follows these "so called rules of dating" just because she is never sure what to do - in other words, she is fearful!! In my eyes, she is dangerous because she helps create this false reality that there are certain rules you should follow when starting a relationship. How can there be rules? Aren't people different? Don't people react in different ways? If something works for one person, it won't necessarily work with the other. As far as I'm concerned, I play relationships by ear, I do what feels right to me at the time, no rules involved... Sorry about the obsession with the topic, it just came to mind that this is yet ANOTHER dangerous fear!!
Hmm, it is interesting to ponder about the difference between metamorphosis and chrysalis. The first one is stages of a homogeneous living entity, the second a transformation from life to death to life again, isn't it?
The plant metamorphoses from the sprout to the stem, the leaves, the flower, the seeds and so on - but it still remains that particular plant on that particular soil or ground. The butterfly has found it's existence through chrysalis - two deaths before "real life". And then in it's short lived life is crowned by flying towards the sun, die there again and leave the dust of it's beautiful wings to be pulverized in the air we breathe. We humans breathe the colors of butterfly dust...
There are two religions who inwardly oppose submission towards the process of chrysalis, and unfortunately therefore also compute negatively towards present political tremors. Those are Judaism and Islam.
The points of grief you listed are rooted in ethical human, and religious human retardation, also the retardation of life forces to reinvent, to become anew, to overcome blood lines, to liberate ethnicity and aim for individuality, detachment of the concept of statehood as the caring mother ... and so on.
I hate to be a bloody pessimist, but I can't help to say that human error is only corrected through pain - that is how we learn.
Unless of course we are fearless and are willing to take the risk ... the risk to go through chrysalis!
Well goodmorning this post came to me so deep:) I am afraid ı might have drown in it:)
But ı can say agree with you:)
wishing you a nice monday and week
Happiness is like a butterfly;when pursued is always beyond your grasp,but if you will sit down quietly may a light upon you..But ı now thought this end(one's happiness ) was only to be attained by not direct end.Those only are happy (I thought)who have their minds fixed on some object other than their own happiness.Aiming us at something else,they find happiness along the way:)
Kucak kucak arkadaşıma:)
Çokk öpüyorummm:)
here is an irony. as I shook of the effects of sleep yesterday mornign I started to think about titles for blogs and I settled upon yours. I wondered how you came up with your title of affirmations. low and behold, the answer awaited in my next visit to your blog.
One of my favorite quotes has to be:
""Faith means not wanting to know what is true." [Nietzsche]"
I have to admit that I pretty much agree with all your views on everything. This goes from considering one country a liberator, and another a terrorist country? To me they're both the same.
Marriage is no longer a religious term. It may well have started that way in the beginning of time but we also thought the earth was flat, so we need to update all our terms. Anyone who wishes to spend the rest of their life with someone else shouldn't be told "no" because of who they like.
I can easily go on and add a little to all your lists, but the one that intrigues me the most has to be the second to last comment.
If there was a God many of the things that happen in this world wouldn't happen. I know i'm going to hear that it's up to us to do something about it, but if that's the case then what's the need for a God if it's all up to us?
No creator who supposedly wants the best for us would allow the death of innonecent people, and the fooling of many others into killing on his behalf.
"There is no spoon"........
Great post Dr. Nazli.
Lovely post. It has really given me something to think about. What struck me most was about the adopted children. Have a nice day.
Thanks for the comments - let me respond to each of you ... in a few minutes! :-)
It is so good to see that there is intelligent life here in the blogsphere. Rather than providing answers, our great (bold?) adventure today was 'to ponder'. Simple, isn't it? Keep up with that, Doc. Cheers!
Fernando - it is very clear to me that you are very deep and thoughtful - and you do see beyond what I see and that helps me.
My father - yes he gave me the best foundation and strong wings - but I am not convinced he was ready to let me fly off. Nonetheless - we must all walk our own path, right.
As for the third world vs. the US situation - don't forget I grew up in Africa and I was born in Asia - I am very aware and conscious of the world beyond - and I hope you see that in my postings. I also see the fundamental American values and often the questions I pose are just to ask someone else to think, to try to understand that the way of the current world is dangerous.
Fernando, you comments made my blog richer - and I so glad that you do! Your English is just fine - but i am learnign Spanish just to make sure I too can communicate with such a rich part of the world!
Rock On!
Nazli
Caco - beleive you me - I am so thrilled to see such intelligent responses - from so many angles. So we ponder and provoke and wonder - and somehow it makes us that much more human. So lovely, so simple, so bold. And as we discussed in the previous post - it's disquieting, uncomfortable questions that provide more light - than the obious answers.
Caco - you make this blog richer - thank you! I feel the blog belongs to a collective "us"!
Yes this blog does seem to be difficult to download - due to the photos I imagine. Zee suggested I cut down the number of entries per post. Let's see how that goes! :-)
Before Sunrise! How are you pretty garota? I think you would have laughed at me during family dinners as I tried to rack my brains and defend two sides! Hey about the "Rules" - have you seen this book? Let me know because I will send yo something from it. You will hate it because you are very straight forward and honest and don't like games. It has rules like "don;t call men until you receive 3 calls from them" and "don;t pay for dinner" (which is not that bad a rule actually ;-))and basically advocates to not be "real".
You would think men were the greatest prize on earth and the only thing worth pursuing was a man to marry - utter rubbish. Feel free to comment on it anytime because the right relatiosnhip can only be based on open, understanding and warmth and unconditioanl love - games are for the football field
I agree compeltely that playing these "games" women do themselves a disservice because they propogate the notion of the Rules and Games. Dangerous!
Cris - thank you for your comments - thank you for making this your blog. You always make me laugh - because you are so straight forward and to the point - it is just wonderful - and you do make this blog fearless and rich. Big hug to you!
Meera - thank you! Because I just had Spanish class i am thinking of "Mira" in Spanish, as in "look" :-)
Yes this "adopted" children term has never felt right to me - and people invariably say things like, "they have a daughter and two adopted children". Not right. Imagine, how the "adopted" children feel.
See you Meera ;-)
Tom - you made me reconsider my "judgement" towards expressiveness of gayness. People shoudl express who they are - agreed. What I was trying to say relaly is that why be so suggestive that it may be generally offensive? Do you see what I am saying/ Bt i do concede that there are many forms of straight PDA that are equally offensive - so of-course your point is very well taken.
Your blogs is one the first rare fearless ones I came across when i started to blog and so you can imagine what your words mean to me. in fact, Tom, here is an appropriate word I learnt from my first Spanish class today - Encantada
Also - I notice that you enagage with other commenters and truly you enrich this blog, Tom. Gracia y hasta luego
(yes i might actually drive people crazy as the classes go by! :-)
Chau
gosh - I wish I had seen all these comments last night!:-)
Nazli,
You said it all about relationships and how (some) women view them... I hope that more and more women start realising that they shouldn't subject themselves to these so called rules (although letting the man pay for dinner is a good one ;-))... I have heard of the book but never read it or bought it...
As for driving us crazy with Spanish, I already drive Fernando crazy because I write to him in Spanish (or try to anyway) :-)
Gracias por sus comentarios y por tener un blog tan interesante :-)
Anonymous - I value your point and I understand and relate to what you are saying - however, what you said about the "Arabs" apply equally to the Isralis. No I do not see that one side is less culpable than the other - but I am open to listening to your perspective.
You said "Jews believe that all life is equal" - that is a blanket statement which is not accurate Because "jewish" people are human first - just like the Arabs. Likewise, while Arabs have some savgage traditions, to make a blanket statement that they all do not value life - is inaccurate.
Whether one is Jewish or an Arab - everyone is human first and no one - but no one is above fault. And until we see that, the world will remain in turmoil
I particularly value Fernando's points on this too
Of-course I would have said the same thing in reverse if "anonymous" had said anything anti-Jewish you know, given my dinner training and all :-).
Zee - I have thought quite a bit about religion and Islam, in the last few years because of the current world trends - and also because i needed some degree of understanding. And ultimately, I have to believe what my father taught me, "that God created man, is greater than man-created religion". However, it is with great interest that i consider what you say about Judaism and Islam being inwardly opposing the submission towards the process of chrysalis. I am going to think about this further.
Religion binds people to think a certain, to act a certain - to be someone who may not necessarily be - dangerous.
I see why people become atheist. I can't help but believe in the Creator of the World - it's something I feel within.
More than ever, i reject traditions and religion and parents and cultures that force people to live by their rules. No, because world belongs to me, equally. Zee, i have risked much to go through my chrysalis and I have found it is the only way I can exist. There was no choice but ot be fearless.
Thank you Zee - you make this blog fearless. You sculpt your own life as you want to live - and I applaud you for that - and I leanr from you
Jeff - you and I usually agree on most things - and when we don;t, you open my eyes to a much needed perspective. This concept of a benevolent God who allows such unimaginable horror is a hard question. I don't know the answewr - and I have spoken to "men of God" from the three religions who don't have a staisying answer either.
"there is no spoon..."
Oh and Jeff - I will keep you posted on the Human Rights Symposium we are having at the University. I will be focussing on how technology impacts human rights - positive and negative. I would love to hear from you on that. I have already put forth the censorship item from your blog.
Jeff - gracias. Como estas? Muy bien? De donde eres? Hasta pronto
Hey - wait till I start posting in Spanish!
Huge hug,
Dr. Nazli ;-)
Oh Joe! See, it;s a special connection we have here! Oh and I have a movie to recommend for your daughter and wife that I watched this weekend.
Part of the blog title is the sheer (but hard-earned) confidence I feel, another part is a reminder to myself ...
But the blog has evolved for me - now i feel that I am sharing it with other like minded people. So it's a conduit that I maintain for the sharing of thoughts and ideas and fun with people who choose to think for themselves. I love it - because it's so many strong minds who force others to think - in one place. And it is incredibly fun and funny!
See you soon, my dear friend and thank you much for being a part of the "fearless crowd"! Joe - do you speak Spanish?
Candancimmmmm, my pretty friend! What a lovely comment about "happiness" and your analogy to the butterfly is beautifully appropriate. it's really what we make of it, insn't it? You know, I find that people define happiness by other peoples' standads and not their own standards. That is the source of unhappiness. Somewhere along the line, we have to decide on be true to ourselves and define our own happiness and pursue it without infringing on anyone elses' unhappiness.
Candancimmm - you are so sweet and so warm and so open and you have to know that I always feel such warmth for you and wish you only happiness, happiness and happiness. May many pretty butterflies alight you, my cok tatli arkadaşıma. Huge hug to you!
Kucak kukak - okk öpüyorummm!
(see I am learning Turkish on the side too ;-))
My spelling is atrocious. My fingers cannot keep up with my thoughts. Please excuse
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